What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What I have noticed is nearly every girl I try to connect with whom reject me are in their early 20s why is that the case?

Make Nazis afraid again!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What is your favourite colour and why?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why do I want to suck cock tonight?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Have you ever had your crush reject you, and then later you all dated and married?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why, after a divorce, would one still want to ruin the other one’s life?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What did your best friend do that ended your friendship?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What happens when you have paranoid schizophrenia?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

How does the narcissist react when he realizes you no longer care?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I committed the unpardonable sin. God immediately punished me so that I can no longer think like before and my brain is as if paralyzed and does not work. I've tried everything (confession, repentance, etc.) nothing helps. Any advice?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

TEXT:

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What are the core beliefs of liberalism and conservatism? Can you provide a list of defining characteristics for each side?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What is your best gay fantasy?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …